Debating?
by ThatWaywardCat
Summary: Ohio and Pennsylvania get into a fight about whose college football team is better.  This can't end well. State OCs One-Shot


"Lions."

"Buckeyes."

"_Lions."_

"_Buckeyes."_

"LIONS."

"BUCK. EYES."

"Lions are better than Buckeyes and you know it, Stacey!" Erin growled, looking her sibling dead in the eye. Stacey merely snorted. "Ohio State can kick your _Pussycats' _asses and you know it, Penn."  
>Stacey, as the state of Ohio, could not back down from the obvious challenge being issued here- Erin refused to let her win, no matter what. Erin's face tinged an angry shade of red. "As if I hadn't heard <em>that <em>one before, tomato-juice drinker."

"Trout."

"Nerd."

Stacey nearly choked on her own spit. "Are you seriously being such a child? I thought we were past the toddler insults these days, Penny. Isn't the older sibling supposed to be more mature?" Erin glared. Okay, so she was twenty while Ohio was eighteen. So? "Shouldn't we be showing equal maturity? You're legally an adult, aren't you?" Her chocolate-brown hair fell into her blazing blue-green eyes.

"Not the point. Now where were we?"

"How the Lions can kick your Suckeyes in the ass blindfolded."

"_Buck_eyes, you drunkard." Stacey brushed her corn-yellow hair back behind her ears. Erin was steamed now, her face awash in red. "_Drunkard? _Oh, now THAT is it, shit-for-brains." Swiftly she tackled her younger sibling. The two rolled and kicked and slapped, each tossing out every last vulgar phrase they knew.  
>At last the two broke away and stood up, panting. Erin brushed the dirt off her yellow Philadelphia zoo Tshirt, staring at the small tear over the faded green lion lying atop the letters. "This was my favorite shirt, asshole." She seethed. "Ahhhh, so what." Stacey muttered, warily standing up and brushing the dust off her gingham shirt. "Okay, obviously fighting isn't settling anything. So let's go get a third-party opinion." She offered. Erin nodded. "What about Jersey? She's...sort of unbiased." Stacey nodded. "Alright. She'll be the one to tell you how the Buckeyes win, hands down."<p>

"Don't push it, girl."

And so the two went to see New Jersey, who was a bit difficult to find- she was everywhere from the boardwalks to the shore, but at last they caught her at a tanning salon.  
>"NJ! We've gotta have you settle somethin'." Erin said grimly. "Yeah? Whaddya need?" NJ asked warily, eyes narrowed. Whenever these two needed something settled, it usually involved college football. And ended up with a trip to the hospital.<p>

"Okay, so she said the Buckeyes could kill the Lions and-"

"That's because we can, right, Maria?"

"She's gonna go for the Lions, dickbreath!"

"Who're you calling dickbreath, fuckface?"

"Oh you are asking for it-"

"BRING IT ON-!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" New Jersey hollered, attracting the attention of a small group of Jerseyites. "Now, _what the hell_ are you bugging me for?"  
>Ohio and Pennsylvania exchanged a look, then burst out simultaneously;<br>"We need you to tell us whose college football team is better!" Jersey groaned. "Keep me out of your ultra-competitive shit, guys."  
>Erin clicked her tongue. "You pussying out, guido?"<br>New Jersey's eyes snapped open. She had an _incredibly_ short fuse. "GUIDO? Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to, coal-cracker?"

"COAL-CRACKER?"

Immediately the fighting began fresh.

The moral of this story?

Don't ever get in the middle of a Pennsylvanian citizen and an Ohio citizen when college football is involved.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's notes: <strong>_

_**Ah, yeah, that sucked, I know, but the idea just wouldn't get out of my head. Seriously, college football fans are crazy.**_

_**Reasons for insults:**_

_*** The trout is Pennsylvania's state fish.**_

_***Tomato juice is Ohio's state beverage.**_

_*** Pennsylvania is known for having 'a bar on every corner' and not being aware that there is a legal drinking age.**_

_***Ohio is 'The Nerdiest State'**_

_*** 'Guido' is a put-down term for a working-class Italian-American. New Jersey=Jersey Shore=Guidos galore.**_

_*** Coal-cracker is a put-down for people who live in the Coal Region.**_

_**Hope to see you in my next story. **_

_**~Wayward**_


End file.
